Testimony of Mark Greene

Given at the Southern Gables Good Friday Service, April 18, 2003

          When I was 2, my mother and father divorced and left me with my grandparents in Virginia.  They both headed to Florida and eventually remarried, starting new families, leaving me to grow up in Virginia with my grandparents and 2 uncles who were just a few years older than me. My grandfather was an alcoholic and was not involved in my life, leaving me with no male role model.   Insecurity set in during my school years because of my situation and I became angry, introverted and non-social. 

 

          I married just 3 months out of high school and was drafted into the Army just 7 months after that.  I was sent to Germany on assignment and was soon joined by my wife.  It wasn’t long before we were trying to be socially involved with other couples.  This lead to parties for social contacts and alcohol to relieve my fears.  I had never been involved with alcohol until then.

 

          After being discharged from the Army, I got a job making good money, soon bought a house and figured that life was all it was suppose to be.  A year after I got out of the Army, a friend of mine who had been drafted at the same time I was, returned from Vietnam and was discharged.  He introduced me to Marijuana and I liked the feeling it gave me.  Within 2 years after that, I was divorced.   What had happened?   I thought that I had a good marriage.  I had done well in the Army, gotten a good job after that had a house, a dog and two cars.  Wasn’t that what marriage and life was all about?

 

          After everything fell apart, I started searching for purpose and meaning in my life.  I did not consider myself a bad person, just a confused one.  Trying to figure out what had happened to, what I thought was my prefect world.  I began a roller coaster ride for the next 10 years trying figure it all out.

         

          During those 10 years, I was sometimes involved with drugs and other times trying to better myself by going back to school, changing jobs and searching for understanding.  Finally I moved to Vero Beach, Florida to attend flight school.  Finishing flight school, I began instructing at the same school for about a year and then walked away from aviation.

 

          I moved to Orlando, Florida where my Dad lived with his wife and 3 sons.  I started a business and soon found myself back into alcohol and drugs.  Finally I was arrested with cocaine and awaiting a trial.  I hired a lawyer, who assured me that I would not serve any jail time.  Standing in court that day, expecting to go home, I had the shock of my life.  To my surprise the judge decided that I needed to spend some time in jail.  I don’t think that I have ever had such an “awakening” in my life.  I thought, “This could not be happening to me” I am not that bad of a person.  Surly other people did more things wrong than I did, why me?  The bailiff came over to me, handcuffed me and led me to a cell.  This could not be happening to me, no, not me, I thought.  A scripture that comes to life for me today is when Jesus says in Matthew 7, verse 21:  "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?'  Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'”  I can just imagine people standing before God and hearing those words from Jesus and being just as shocked because they thought they were going to heaven. 

 

I was full of hate and anger, something I had dealt with my whole life.  I blamed everyone for my problems except me.  That seems to be the tendency of most people and was true of me.  After I had been moved from downtown lockup to county jail, I started reflecting once again on my life.  It certainly had not turned out the way that I thought it would.  I picked up a New Testament and started reading it.  I did know what a bible was, as my Grandmother had sent me and my uncles to church for about 1 year when I was around 6 years old.  I had been baptized during that time and had always thought of myself as a Christian.  I knew of Jesus, I did not know Jesus.

 

          As I started reading the Book of Matthew, I really was not too involved with the words until I can to Matthew 11, verse 28.  Where Jesus says; “Come to me, all you that labor and are heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  I was tired of searching and trying to figure life out. Freedom from the life that I had been living sure sounded good.  I was tired and weary from the mess that I had made.  I felt like my load was just too much for me.  I said to God, if these words are real, I want what you offer.  It was late I closed the bible and went to sleep.

 

          I awoke the next morning with a strange newness of character.  Something was different. I can’t explain it, but I was different.  My hate and anger was gone.  I had a joy that was hard to contain.  For the first time in my life I saw the problem, ME!  I was the one who had made all the wrong decisions that had ruined my life and put me in jail. I saw clearly, for the first time, my SIN.  I could blame no one for my situation, but me. Being in jail seemed only to be an inconvenience and not a burden.  As I look back on the ordeal, I see God using this time of isolation for my benefit.  For the next 90 days I would read the bible daily for hours, memorizing passages of Scripture like 1 Corinthians 13, which taught me what real love is.  It says, “Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  The Scriptures also helped me to make good decisions once I got out of jail.

 

I started seeing for the first time that life was not about me, it is about God.  I came to understand that Jesus died because of my sin, to understand the forgiveness that is found only in the Cross and what it means to those who look to it for life and the resurrection, which gives us hope.

 

I realized that God could take the place of my parents and that God wanted to be my Father.  I realized for the first time in my life that I did not have the answers, but God does.

 

          Leaving my past quickly behind, God started restoring my lost years.   I started attending a Church and met an older couple, Ralph and Martha Edfeldt, who took me under their wings and taught me about family life.   I got involved with Bible Study and a Prayer Group through Ralph.  I got involved with missions and discipleship.  Three years after jail, I met my wife Karen on a singles retreat.  Six months later we were married.  22 Months later, we were parents of twin girls, Brianne and Bethany.  I started a business and Karen was able to stay home with the children.  2 ½ years later, Jonathan, our son was born.  I found it hard to believe that my life could be turning into something that I had only dreamed of.

 

In just 7 short years my life had taken on what I struggled to obtain for 35 years.

 

          I could tell you more stories of how God has continued to work in my life throughout the next 13 years, but I don’t want you to miss the reason for this life that I now have.  As one song says, “I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon the Cross”, reminds me that my new life was only possible because of what Jesus did that day He decided to die on the Cross, so that my life could be one with God.  This is what God has always been about; working in the lives of people so that others may see Him and His Glory.

 

It’s not easy to stand before you and look back at the years that bring shame to my life.  I would rather forget them and never bring them up, but I don’t think God wants us to forget our journey to the Cross. Some of you haven’t had to have a journey like I had, and I am glad. But every one of us who calls our self a Christian has a story of what the cross has done in their life.  For you, my prayer is that you will be ever growing and showing God’s love to those around you.

 

If you have never experienced the forgiving Grace of the Cross, I invite you to know Jesus.  He is the only one who can take away the burdens and renew your life like He did for me.  If you identify with the searching I described earlier or have emptiness in your life I would love to talk with you.