Testimony of Derek Saucier

Given during June 8, 2003 Worship Service

Hi, my name is Derek Saucier. I’ve been part of “Gables” for about a year.

As a child I was raised in a very doctrinally sound evangelical church with a mother who loved and served God whole-heartedly and a father who opposed her sometimes. Those occasions lead to infrequent, but none-the-less painful, trials throughout my childhood.

My relationship with Christ was still strong and growing as I entered adolescence. But things began to go wrong because of the anger I allowed to build up. As I grew into a teenager, so did the anger and it wasn’t long before it nearly controlled every area of my life.

I didn’t realize as it was happening but I had let my own pain and anger replace the God of my childhood with a new God- myself. I no longer sought to serve Christ, but rather myself and anything that would bring me satisfaction or pleasure- even if only temporary. This pattern continued into my early and mid twenties.

I had pursued music as a career and also as a way of life. To me, the industry was completely comprised of self-serving, glory-seeking, “godmakers”. I was out for myself and any fame or fortune I received I thought was the result of what I had done. This set me up to become the god of my own world. It is a very easy trap to fall into especially if you have any form of talent or musical gift. The catch comes when you find out how quickly your “godhood” flees you once you leave the stage or once the show is over and the downside can be utterly devastating.

So I turned to alternate means of filling the void. Soon enough, I found that I had to create countless means of escaping the painful truth. From self-serving friendships to preoccupying sports, and hobbies, to self-medicating and finally complete and total denial, the vicious cycle didn’t end until it nearly destroyed me.

The problem came when I found out that to end the cycle, I had to renounce my supremacy as the god of my world. That was a feat I couldn’t seem to manage on my own. So the cycle raged on.

Approximately one and a half years ago I was asked to go on a short mid-west tour as a tech for the a/v company I worked for. As I pulled into the Kansas City parking lot I saw a Young Life bus. I knew what I was in for. This was going to be a “boring, straight-laced, Bible reading, praise God” kind of week.

Well I needed the money enough that I grabbed my bags and climbed aboard. I mean did these people even know what quality production was like? What could I possibly learn from this crew? Little did I know what was in-store for me! I saw people truly passionate about life and the message that they were delivering!

About half way through the tour I was asked to operate spotlights for the drama team when they delivered a presentation that is still affecting me to this day.

It was at that point, with tear filled eyes, that I became aware of what had to be done. Revolution in my life was necessary -- now. Not tomorrow or next week as I had been telling myself, but now.

As I began to allow God to soften my heart and break me right there, where I stood, it became evident that, as the drama team had been saying all week, He is King and I am not. The choice was made again in my life of who to serve.

You might think that this story ends here and all is wonderful for me now. You couldn’t imagine how wrong that is! This decision would completely alter the course of my life. Friendships needed to change, business decisions had to change, even hobbies and passions would need to change. All of which I handled in a week after the tour! Ha Ha!

Seriously, the process of change has, I feel, only begun. I still struggle with these very issues every single day BUT with Gods grace he is bringing about these changes because I am too weak to accomplish them by myself. Through all of the pain and trials that this process has rendered, God has been faithful, loyal, forgiving and gracious. Without a single shred of doubt about my decision that day, I say to you: As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.