Stacy Tomlinson’s Testimony to the Grace of God

Given during September 28, 2003 Worship Service

My story begins in Connecticut. My parents separated when I was four, and after two years in Europe with my Mom, we moved back to a typical custody arrangement: my sister and I lived with Mom during the week and Dad on the weekends. Life seemed fine and fairly normal. Most Sundays our Dad took us to church, but I remember my main thought being, "What is that man talking about up there?" The other most prevalent thought of God floating around our house was when someone got physically hurt. The catch phrase was, "Ah-ha! God’s punishing you!"

Then I would talk to God at bedtime. I asked him to please bless Mom and every other person I could possibly think of. This ended when boredom set in and with the realization that I didn’t know who I was talking to at all.

When I was about eleven my Dad moved to Colorado to open a restaurant, and life stopped seeming so normal. Our time with him now consisted of about ten minutes on the phone every Sunday and summers bussing his tables in Craig.

My grades began falling and I was often lonely, confused and sad. I lacked confidence and really struggled socially. This changed, though, during my junior year in high school. I attended a party where I was introduced to marijuana. And soon thereafter I began drinking. I continued along this path off and on until I was twenty-one, thinking that this wild side of me was more fun, made friends more easily, was funny, and in my mind, much more interesting. During those years I made friends quickly, but the relationships seemed hollow and brittle, and I began feeling lonelier than ever. My heart ached for real friendships and one day in desperation as I walked along some old train tracks in the rain, I looked up at the gray sky and angrily asked, "Is there anything good in this world?" Little did I know my loving heavenly Father was listening and responding.

Before this incident I had actually "received Jesus" twice, but I didn’t know what I had done or what to do afterwards. On these two separate occasions an acquaintance and a complete stranger asked me if I wanted to say the Sinner’s Prayer and invite Jesus into my heart. Both times I said, "Sure," but immediately continued on my lonely, confused path.

Shortly after these strange experiences, I walked in to my second astronomy class at CSU. I was fascinated by the wonder of the moon and the planets yet despised life because my inability to grasp the physics and math. The class was tiny and I soon met a friend who offered to help me study. We spent many nights staying up preparing, talking and drinking endless amounts of coffee. Then one day on a bike ride in the foothills he asked if I knew he was a Christian. I said, "No, but I’d like to know more about it." As those words came out, I remember thinking, "Why did I just say that?" He began with Adam and Eve and the Fall. I actually don’t remember anything else except that he invited me to the Easter sunrise service that was soon approaching.

Easter morning was dark and chilly. Patches of snow covered the ground. I was shivering in my light summer outfit, but looked around in amazement at all the people softly singing in the dark. I saw closed eyes, smiles and hands reaching up to the sky. I then saw a cross at the bottom of the hill and it occurred to me that they really loved Jesus. I wanted what they had. During the invitation, I found myself standing surprisingly alone on the side of that mountain, but I finally understood what Jesus had done for me. It was the only freeing AND intoxicating feeling I had ever had. Another neat thing that happened that morning was that as I was sitting, listening to the message, I noticed my feet hurt badly from the cold. I whispered, "Jesus, do you think you could warm my feet?" They went from icy to instantly tingly and warm. I knew then that He loved me deeply.

In the months to follow the Bible was explained to me and more mature Christians prayed with me often. These amazingly genuine men and women encouraged me and loved me. I am most thankful for their willingness to disciple me and show me more of Jesus’ love. Now I have the ability to do the same for my children and for anyone else God puts in my life.